Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
