i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize