is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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