There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
