Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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