I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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