Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
