Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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