I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize