i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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