Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
