sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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