My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
