It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have post one night stand depression
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