Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize