3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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