He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
