Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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