Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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