you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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