Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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