She announced her abortion via fbk
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
