Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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