dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
