My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
