you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
