Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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