I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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