Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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