You work out of a Hotel?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
