well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
