Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
