I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
