3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just google imaged poop.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
