you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
