I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
