I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize