the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
