the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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