carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
