I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
