Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
