im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
