I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
operation harelip BJ is a go
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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