He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
