yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
