They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
