I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am never drinking with the goths again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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