dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
