He is such a slut. More and more my type.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
