You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
