the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
