No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
