it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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