apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Vodka?
Forever.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
