I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
