arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
