Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
